When someone we know is going through a hard time with their feelings or thoughts, it's crucial to choose our words carefully. The way we speak can either help them feel understood and cared for or make them feel even more alone. Let's learn how to be good companion during these challenging moments.
Here are a few examples to make them feel supported and loved.
Let them know you are here for them:
"I've heard that you're going through a tough time. I'm here for you, and I want to understand. Can you tell me how you're feeling?"
Fear can cause you to:
Avoid the topic and pretending everything is normal.
Let them know you care:
"I care about you, and it makes me sad to see you feeling this way. We'll figure this out together."
Feeling awkward can cause you to:
Say nothing or act like their feelings don't matter.
Ask them how you can help:
"Is there anything specific you need right now? I want to support you in any way I can and support you with connecting with people who can help."
Thinking you know best can cause you to:
Assume you know what's best for them without asking.
It's okay to share your feelings of being confused:
"I've felt a bit confused and worried about how to help you. Can we talk about it together?"
Pretending everything is okay can cause you to:
Keep your own feelings a secret and pretending everything is fine.
We all fall in the trapped of trying to be overly positive or overcompensating for a difficult situation. But, if we are mindful of the situation and their feelings during a challenging period, we should AVOID the following:
Minimize their Feelings:
"It's not a big deal; everyone gets sad sometimes."
Offering Quick Fixes:
"Just cheer up and think happy thoughts!"
Blame Them:
"Maybe if you tried harder, you wouldn't feel this way."
Ignoring Their Feelings:
Pretending you didn't notice any change in their behaviour.
Avoidance or feeling awkward may be some of reasons why some may not reach out to a friend or loved one who is experiencing a tough time. However, it's perfectly fine to admit that you might not know all the answers. Saying, "I'm not sure how to help, but I want to try" shows your friend or loved ones that you care and are willing to learn together. Being there for each other is what friendship and family is all about!
Remember, talking about feelings isn't always easy, but it's an essential part of being supportive. Use your words wisely, be honest and open, and most importantly, let your friend or loved ones know that you care. Together, we can create a world where everyone feels loved, understood, and supported.